Saigo no Uchiteiruzuobu
by Blue Phoenix Flower
Summary: During the Battle of the Great Naruto Bridge, a seal broke. But instead of the Kyuubi going on rampage, it was a kunoichi of Konohagakure no Sato who let hell loose. She found out that her life is a lie. Her name? Uchiha Sasuke.
1. Wake Up Call

_Holy crap. I haven't done ANYTHING!!!! I'm so sorry! Anyway, new story, no beta, enjoy! Reviews are much loved._

**Disclaimer: Me, owning Naruto? Yeah right! This (hopefully) fabulous storyline belongs to me. Everything else goes to the respective owners.**

Musical Inspiration for this Chapter: "Send Me On My Way" by Rusted Root

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Chapter 1- Wake Up Call

Sasuke

Pain.

That was the first thing that entered in my mind as the senbon needles pierced his skin. But despite the pain, I couldn't let out a scream. It died in my throat the moment that he saw the blood, my blood. The pain was soon replaced with numbness and great fatigue. But I can't sleep, not now when I have too much to do. The sounds of groans were made from the Masked Kid. At least I defeated him, no thanks to the Dobe. Uzumaki Naruto, the number 1 idiot of Konohagakure no Sato, was stirring behind me, finally recovering from the senbon needles that he inflicted. I knew that he could see what I did without his help, not that I needed it or anything.

"No matter how many times I warn you Dobe, you still keep getting in my way," I mused aloud.

"Sasuke! You…," the loud idiot began before he trailed off. I could feel his eyes on my back and could almost see the expression on his face.

"Now get that stupid look off your idiotic face you dumb ass," I weakly commanded, looking over my shoulder. The slightest movements hurt like hell but I ignored it.

Then the Dobe had to ask the most obvious question that made me cringe at the stupidity of it.

"Why?"

Memories flashed in front of my eyes of what has happened to the both of us and I knew that he saw it too. Why the hell did he have to ask that?

"I used to hate you, you know," I began, trying to find the answer myself.

"Why, why did you? Why…me…? You should have minded your own damn business!" he yelled.

"How should I know?" I retorted quickly, trying to ignore the wetness pooling in my eyes. "My body…just moved…on its own Dobe."

As I fell backwards, I remembered that moment when I jumped in front of him. It was instinct, I couldn't control my movements. It was like someone else was moving for me. Just as I thought that would hit the stone, I felt Naruto catching me, his calloused fingers on my face. Normally, I demand that he would get the hell off but today was different.

Today was my last day.

"I swore I wouldn't die until I killed him…my aniki…I thought that the oath would save me…but…," I trailed off, letting the words come out on their own.

"Don't you dare die."

And with that, with that last command, I closed my eyes and let myself slip away to join the other Uchiha. I have a lot of explaining to do.

* * *

The first thing I heard was tears.

They came from a pink haired girl, a fan girl of mine, named Haruno Sakura. She was the smartest kunoichi in the class but totally sucked at fighting.

She also weighed a lot surprisingly.

But wait, I was dead. How could feel the tears and the weight of my teammate?

"Sakura, you're heavy," were the first things that came out of my mouth. In the back of my mind, I noticed that my voice was a little higher pitched than normal. The reasoning was that the senbon had damaged my vocal cords and I ignored it.

Sakura shot up from my chest and cried even more. She pulled me into a hug which irritated my wounds even more.

"Sasuke-kun…," she mumbled.

"Sakura, that hurts," I protested in which she complied. And with that, I came to the conclusion that I lived. For some reason or another, the Masked Kid had let me lived. Sakura wiped away her tears before replying.

"Gomen Sasuke-kun. Let's get you up," she said with a slight smile. She pulled me up and leaned a bit on her. I guess that the Mask Kid was merciful. That's when I noticed something.

I was a little shorter than Sakura.

As I tried to rationalize on why I was shorter, since I was taller than Dobe and her, my brain registered that Sakura had called to Naruto, who was towards the incomplete part of the bridge. The idiot had tears in eyes I observed and I raised my hand to give a small wave. I could see the smile from all the way here.

"That Naruto, he can convince a killer to help the village," Sakura stated with a smile.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Some way or another, Zabuza had turned to help us but at the cost of his own life," she quickly explained.

"And that kid?" I demanded.

"Kakashi-sensei killed him. It was an accident for he jumped in front of Sensei's jutsu to save Zabuza," she answered quietly. I sucked in a breath, well, as well as I could, at this news. Despite all the training we received at the Academy to prepare ourselves for this, it didn't help. Even though I didn't see it happen, I could guess on what happened…

"Hey Sasuke-kun, did the Masked Kid do anything to you other than making you look like a pin cushion?" Sakura asked suddenly, snapping me out of my concentration.

"No."

"Oh, I was wondering because you look…like a girl," she said, whispering the last part.

"What?" I asked, feeling numb.

"The girl said that you look like a girl," Tazuna repeated flatly.

"I heard old man!" I snapped, causing him to draw go back fearfully.

"I-I mean Sasuke-kun, that I m-might be mistaking," Sakura stuttered.

"Check if it's a genjutsu," I ordered, glaring at her. She paled but quickly followed instruction.

"Kai!"

Noting happened. Sakura repeated twice afterwards but yet again, nothing happened. Silence descended upon us as the revelation sunk. Using what little control over my limbs, I tore my left arm sleeve off and searched for my birthmark, the one that looks like an Uchiha fan.

But it wasn't there.

All that was left was an outline of the fan.

Shit, I think I'm girl.

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_Like I said before, reviews are much appreciated! _


	2. Sasuke's a What!

_Look, I love people reading my work but no reviews? Seriously, reviews are an author's life. If you send out reviews, it's more than likely that the story will get updated. (Nudge, nudge, wink, wink) Anyway, rant done, enjoy the story!_

**Disclaimer: Do I look like I own Naruto? Seriously people, I'm not even Japanese! All content (except for story plot) belong to the respective owners.**

Musical Inspiration for this Chapter: "All the Small Things" by blink-182

*Note: _Italics_ means that Inner Sakura is talking.

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Chapter 2- Sasuke's a What-?!?!?

_Sakura_

"Sasuke-kun, what's wrong?"

Sasuke-kun has been staring at his left wrist for a while now, his beautiful eyes not blinking.

_It's giving me the creeps._

"I used to have a birthmark on my wrist; it looked like an Uchiha fan. Now, it's gone," he stated flatly, sounding disbelief. I knew the very birthmark that he was talking about. I would put it on wrists of our future children.

"I think that once you wash off the blood, you'll see it again Sasuke-kun," I offered lamely, which earned me an Uchiha Glare.

"Baka, you and I know that there wasn't any blood on it. It was wrapped with bandages. So start using that brain of yours and get me to Kakashi," Sasuke-kun growled sending new tears to prick my eyes. Why was he so mean?

_Bastard! I don't care if you're my future husband; I'm going to tear you apart!_

"Tazuna-san, if you want to go to your house, it's fine. I'm going to take Sasuke-kun to Kakashi-sensei to answer a few questions," I told our client. Tazuna smiled kindly but nodded no.

"My family is here. I'm going to stay with them," he told me. I acknowledge that I heard him and carefully lead Sasuke-kun to Kakashi-sensei, trying to avoid the senbon.

_Oh hell yeah! I'm right next to Sasuke-kun! He smells so good. What kind of cologne does he wear? It smells so fricken good! Take that Ino-Pig, Sasuke-kun is mine! Are _YOU_ helping him after a major battle? Are _YOU_ his wonderful teammate? Hell no! Life is _GOOD_!_

By the time we got to the crowd, Kakashi was leaning on Naruto's shoulders. He used too much of the Sharingan meaning that we're at least going to be here for another week.

_What?!! This place is so boring! Why the hell can't Kakashi-sensei just have some sort of bean that can heal all of his wounds?!!?_

"Hey Sakura-chan! Hey Teme! It looks like we're going to be here for the celebrations, ne?" Naruto exclaimed, a bright smile across his face.

_Oh right! PARTY!! We're going to party till we're purple!_

"Hey Sasuke, since when have you become girly?" Kakashi-sensei teased, his eye turning into an upside down "U" to show that he was smiling.

"I don't know, you tell me," Sasuke-kun snapped. I winced at the harshness of the sentence. Sasuke-kun was used to getting his own way but this was going a little too far.

_Asshole!_

"What's wrong teme? Are you PMS-ing?" Naruto teased which caused my fist to land into his face. This then, unfortunately caused Kakashi-sensei to fall to the ground and the senbon in Sasuke-kun's shoulders to dig in deeper.

"SAKURA!!"

* * *

We all regrouped at Tsunami's house, tending to injuries that we sustained in the battle.

"Now Sasuke, what are you so worked up about?" Kakashi-sensei asked from the bed. I was washing my hands from all the blood that got onto them from removing the senbon from Sasuke-kun. Naruto had fallen asleep. What a baka.

_He deserves it._

"I want to know if I had a henge seal on me," Sasuke-kun stated flatly.

"Where would the seal be?" Kakashi-sensei asked, a tone of seriousness entering into his voice.

"On my left wrist," Sasuke-kun replied, showing the said wrist. Kakashi-sensei looked at it with scrutiny before delivering the verdict.

"Hai."

Sasuke-kun sucked in a deep breath and stood up abruptly.

"I'll be in the shower," he stated flatly, causing much shock for me. Why would Sasuke-kun have a henge seal?

_Probably to hide his girlish looks!_

"Kakashi-sensei, why is Sasuke-kun so shocked that he had a henge seal placed on him? Didn't he know?" I asked.

"Well, Sakura it's not as simple as that. It turns out that our Sasuke is a girl."

_NANI!!?_

"WHAT?!?!" I yelled. Sasuke-kun is a girl? Oh hell no.

_There is no way! In a different lifetime! SASUKE-KUN CAN'T BE A GIRL!!! THAT'S LIKE NARUTO SAYING THAT HE HATES RAMEN! MY LIFE IS OVER! THE WORLD IS ENDING! OH THE HUMANITY OF IT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

As I was having a mental breakdown, my brain realized that a scream had been uttered and the owner sounded like Naruto. A girl clad in a towel and dripping wet had entered into the living room, dragging Naruto behind her. He was bloodied and bruised.

_Serves him right for being a pervert._

"Get this bastard out of my sight before I kill him for being a hentai!" she growled. She then threw him across the room and stormed back to the shower, obviously pissed off for a good reason.

"And there you go. That was just Naruto finding out the news himself," Kakashi-sensei said jovially. But I didn't pay attention to that. All I knew is that my world fell apart. Why the hell were the walls closing in? Was it me or was it getting harder to breathe?

_My life means nothing now. It's official, I'm a Lesbo. Life is so cruel._

Sweet blackness surrounded me and I slipped into unconscious.

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"Sakura-chan! Oh man teme, what did you do to her?!"

"Nothing you perverted Dobe. I was getting dressed."

"Oh, um, sorry about walking in like that, I didn't know that you were…uh, are…um…"

"Naruto, you have to get over it. Say it with me, 'Sasuke is a girl!'"

"Kakashi shut the hell up."

"Well I'm sorry Sasu-chan but you have to get use to the fact that you're of the female species. I wonder how your fangirls back at home will enjoy this news."

"I said shut the fuck up!"

"Hey, hey! No foul language around Sakura-chan!"

"You're one to talk Dobe."

"Teme!"

"I think she's waking up now."

I felt my eyes flutter open and saw the worried face of Naruto hovering over mine while Kakashi-sensei and Sasuke-k, wait, Sasuke-chan were on the side, obviously not displaying concern.

"Arigato Kami! Are you ok Sakura-chan? You just fainted!" Naruto exclaimed, his blue eyes wide with relief.

"I'm fine Naruto. I just need some space," I insisted, sitting up and pushing Naruto away.

_I need to go and mourn the loss of my husband and kids! So get the hell out of my way!_

"I'm going to help Tsunami pick some flowers. I'll be back," I stated abruptly, already out of the house before anyone could respond. The tears were pouring down my face before I even noticed, living up to my cry-baby status.

_It sucks to be me!_

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_Like I said earlier, reviews would be appreciated!_


	3. Psychos, Reports, and Exams, Oh My!

_(Peeks up from blankets) I have reviews? (Reads reviews and smiles) Thank you firedamio and akatsuki-mal-hime for adding this story your favorites! So, another chapter commences! Enjoy!_

**Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, this whole story would be canon. Unfortunately, I don't but the plot still belongs to me. Any other references belong to their respective owners.**

Musical Inspirations for the Chapter: "Cold Hard Bitch" by Jet and "Beat It" by Michael Jackson performed by Fall Out Boy.

*Note: **Bold** means that the Kyuubi is talking.

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Chapter 3- Psychos, Reports, and Exams, Oh My!

**Naruto**

"…Even though the client had lied about the difficulty of the mission, we completed it and saw the deaths of the ronin Momochi Zabuza and his apprentice, Haku. The bridge in question has been named after Naruto: The Great Naruto Bridge," Kakashi-sensei finished. The Old Man nodded his head in a supposedly wise manner before answering.

"Good job with your team's first C-mission Kakashi. Is there anything else that needs to be recorded?" he asked. An uncomfortable and awkward silence descended on us. Kakashi-sensei cleared his throat before telling the creepy surprise that was totally unexpected.

"We found out that Sasuke here had a henge seal on his left wrist since birth that released after being knocked unconscious by Haku. It was hiding the fact that he is actually a girl," he dropped causing various faces of shock. I laughed at Iruka-sensei's face because it was the most surprised.

"Naruto this better not be a silly prank that you somehow got Kakashi and Sasuke to agree to!" he yelled, his vein popping, his eyes white, and his head becoming fat.

"No way, Iruka-sensei! I would be skinned alive if it was true!" I insisted but he didn't believe me. Before anything else could happen, Sakura-chan spoke up.

"It's true, Sasuke asked me for some help when we had to make a stop for something girl things," she said causing a blush to come across the teme's face. Iruka-sensei let me go and the Old Man breathed out a great sigh.

"An interesting turn of events; Sasuke, were you lead to believe that you were not really a male?" he asked.

"No. I didn't like girls because most of them were terrifying fan girls of mine. You could ask that Hyuga, Neji, for evidence. He went through the same problem as me," Sasuke replied in the same flat she always used. Well, she wasn't really a bitch most of the time. The first semester Sasuke was actually nice. But I'm not going to tell anyone about that.

**You threw a rock at her head.**

What?!?! No I didn't.

**You just keep telling yourself that.**

Shut up you stupid fur ball!

"Hatake, Haruno, Uzumaki, you're allowed to go. We need to talk to Uchiha-san," a really old lady exclaimed, causing the rest of us to be sent out.

What the hell?!

* * *

With nothing better to do, I headed down to Ichiraku's to grab some ramen as a form of congrats for a job well done.

"Hey Naruto, how's my best customer?" Old Man Teuchi asked.

"I just came back from a mission today! It was great! I even had a bridge named after me! It's called the Great Naruto Bridge!" I exclaimed before shoveling the ramen before me down my throat. Miso, yum…

"Yeah right Naruto-kun, that's gotta be one of your pranks. The day you get a bridge named after you is when Sasuke-san turns out to be a girl," Ayame teased. At the mention of Sasuke being a girl, I choked on my ramen.

"Naruto! Slow down or you're going to choke!" she exclaimed, pounding on my back to release the food that was caught in my throat. It came loose and I swallowed. After a coughing, I explained why I had choked.

"No but the thing is, is that Sasuke is a girl!"

Old Man Teuchi and Ayame looked at each other for a moment and then started out laughing.

"But it's the truth!" I insisted.

"Naruto, I think someone hit you a little bit too hard on the head," the Old Man said, going back to the ramen.

"If Sasuke-san was a girl, someone would notice by now," Ayame stated, chuckling as she went on to take other customer's orders.

All I could do was grumble and eat the rest of my ramen.

* * *

**Darkness was a constant fact in my existence as a jailed Biju. The only times in which I saw the outside world would be when I watched through my Jinchuriki's eyes. Bored, I closed my eyes to see what the gaki kit was up too.**

**A barrage of smells and sights hit me when the merge was complete. The baka villagers were going along their own business, some ignoring the gaki while others were glaring daggers. I have no idea why he wants to protect these bastards. For all his life, he's been shunned because of what he was, a Jinchuriki. I mused on how the villagers would react if they found out that he was the son of their Yondaime Hokage. The Kit was heading down a familiar path that reeked of garbage and sewage, the poorer part of the village, which was home. He found the complex and dug out the key to the apartment.**

"I'm home!"** he called out in which no one answered. He let his backpack fall to the floor and started to sift through the mess, probably to find his "Gama-chan."**

"Aha! There you are Gama-chan!"

**A stuffed toad animal toy was found under the bed. The Gaki checked if anyone was watching him before clinging onto the thing for dear life. I snorted. Apparently you're never too old to have a play thing. If he was my kit, he would have been weaned from it by the time he was old enough to train.**

"I didn't know that Uzumaki Naruto had teddy bear," **a smooth voice drawled.**

**The Gaki turned around and we saw a girl in the window sill. She had short raven hair sticking up like the end of a fowl (a duck) and shone with health. Her bangs framed her face which had the aristocratic beauty of the noble clans. Her skin was as pale as ivory and could be considered flawless. Her obsidian eyes were shining with slight amusement and a smirk was across her face. She wore a hitai-ate of Konoha, a navy blue high collared shirt, arm covers, tan shorts, and the appropriate shinobi gear. In short, this is the female Sasuke.**

"T-teme! What the hell are you doing here?!"** the Kit exclaimed, hiding "Gama-chan" behind his back.**

"Kakashi told me that we're going to meet at the Bridge tomorrow at 8," **Sasuke drawled.**

"Great, knowing him he'll be there at 12," **was the complain back. An underlying threat was there not to show up until a couple of hours later. Sasuke caught this.**

"If you come on time, no one will know about your 'Gama-chan'," **she said calmly, her smirk growing as the Kit began more flustered.**

"TEME!"

**But she was gone, off to do whatever the hell she was going to do. As the Gaki went off, cursing the Uchiha, I began to wonder why Sasuke was familiar to my memories. A thought crept up that concerned **_**her**_** but I dismissed that as soon as it came.**

**No soul was ever reincarnated in the same family twice.**

**

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**"So, how late do you think Kakashi-sensei is going be today?"

It was 8 o'clock and we're stuck on the Bridge, waiting for Kakashi-sensei. I started the betting pool but before anyone could add anything, something strange happened.

"Yo!"

"KAKASHI-SENSEI, YOU'RE…EARLY?!!? NANI?!" Sakura-chan and I yelled.

"Today was too important to be late. Anyway, great news! I've decided to enter you three into the Chuunin Exams. So rest up and meet me in the Academy on Friday. Later!" Kakashi-sensei announced before disappearing in a puff of smoke.

"The…Chuunin Exams?" Sakura-chan asked weakly. It took me a moment before I realized what that means.

"Oh yeah! Becoming a Chuunin is one step closer to becoming Hokage! Believe it!" I shouted to the sky.

"Moron, we heard it all before. Now shut up," Sasuke said, whacking me upside the head.

"You didn't have to hit me teme!" I growled. That hurt.

"Dumbass."

"Pretty Boy."

"I'm a girl you moron."

"Bitch."

"Bastard."

"Duck Ass Hair."

"Asswipe."

"Pit sniffer."

"Toad Kisser."

"Snake Lover."

"Why do I love snakes? They're creepy."

"Who cares! Hag."

"Buttnugget."

"Dickhead."

"Dobe."

"Teme."

"Why don't you guys just stop?!" Sakura-chan commanded with her fist ready to go flying. I shut my mouth. Her punches really hurt! That was when I noticed something different about Sakura-chan. Her hair was pulled into a ponytail and she looked…scary. I mean, she was always kind of scary but she was girly and pretty above all. Now she looked dangerous.

"Hey Boss!"

I jumped into the air to see Konohamaru and a girl pulling on my jacket worriedly.

"Konohamaru, what's wrong?" I asked.

"My friend, Udon, is going to get killed!"

And with that, we ran off to prevent someone from getting killed.

* * *

**The Kit, the Banshee, and the Mini ran after the kids to see what was going on with the Fish Head. We came across a pair of shinobi from Suna, the boy with a puppet strapped in his back and weird face painting while the girl had a huge fan and was dressed quite promiscuously.**

"Gaki, you're pissing me off. Why don't I just kill you?" **the Puppet Man growled. Fish Head turned blue and wriggled to try to get out.**

"Hey, let him go!"** my Gaki yelled.**

"Huh, a punk. Why don't you fuck off?"** the Puppet Man growled. Bastard.**

"Kankuro, stop now. Or else _he_ won't like it," **the Girl commanded. Regretfully the Puppet Man let the Fish Head down in which he scurried to the other Gakies.**

"Ah Temari, I was having a bit of fun," **the Puppet Man complained.**

"You know that you're visa would be pulled if you had killed a civilian," **the Banshee stated, courage flashing in her eyes. The killing intent doubled when a red head with a gourd of sand came walking in and the others paled.**

"Is there a problem here?" **the boy asked. He reeked of Shukaku. This must be the Jinchuriki of that Drunk Moron. He also smelt of blood, lots of it. And yet another one falls into bloodlust.**

"No Gaara, we were just having a bit of fun," **Puppet Man exclaimed, sweating buckets. This is amusing.**

"We wouldn't do anything to-"

"Shut up before I kill you."

**Now, at about this time, everyone was going to wet their pants from the killing intent. I laughed. This was nothing compared to what I've seen. The battle between Uchiha Madara and Senju Hashirama was much worse than this.**

"You've seen death, haven't you?" **the Mini asked.**

"As have you. But that doesn't matter anymore. I look forward to tasting your blood Fox as well as the Uchiha's. Kankuro, Temari, we're leaving,"** he commanded.**

**And with that, the Gaki shit his pants.**

**This is going to be fun.**

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_Reviews are loved!_

_Next time: Part One of the Exams!_


	4. Is This Really Happening?

_Thank you dizzydani666 and Kratos181 for reviewing and thanks go to Danny Stringer for PM-ing me. Thanks for sending in the messages!_

**Disclaimer: If you thought I owned Naruto, than you're sadly mistaken. As much as I wish it, I only own the plot. All references also belong to their respective owners.**

Musical Inspirations for this Chapter: "The Middle" by Jimmy Eat World and "Bimbo" by Lambretta.

*Note: _Italics_ means that Inner Sakura is talking.

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Chapter 4- Is This Really Happening?

_Sakura_

It's been a week since we met the psycho team from Suna, who called themselves the Sand Siblings. Konohamaru, Udon, and Moegi, who called themselves the Konohamaru Corps,-  
_More like the Idiot Corps!_

-had finally calmed down and went off to play Shinobi. In a way, I kind of envied them. They still have time to be kids.

_Okay, what's with this shit that I've been hearing?! You've gotten so sentimental and depressed ever since we found out that Sasuke-kun is a girl! YOU NEED TO FUCKING SNAP OUT OF IT!!!!!!!!_

Who gave you permission to judge me?!

_I don't need any permission! So stop moping so we can get on with the story!_

Fine! Ever since Naruto and Sasuke-kun met the Psychos, they've been training like crazy. Their reason was something along the lines of "We're going to face those creeps sooner or later!" I sometimes join them because now the big distraction is gone, I have to do something! I am NOT going to fawn over Naruto! No way in hell!

Right now, I'm at the Academy waiting for the others to show up. It's a nice day outside, the sky is blue, the grass is green, and there are birds chirping somewhere. I could see a pair racing towards me and seeing that one of them was obnoxiously wearing orange, it was Naruto and Sasuke. In a few seconds, the two were at the door in which Naruto was complaining.

"Oh come on! You're a girl now but I still can't beat you!" he complained in which he earned a smirk.

_WHAT?!!? Are you saying that girls are weaker than boys?! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!!_

"You know, you shouldn't say that in front of Sakura. She looks like she's about to kill you," Sasuke-kun stated. That caused Naruto to look at me and pale at my fury.

"NARUTO!"

"Oh shit."

I cocked back my fist and, using all the strength I had, hit him in which he flew back about 10 feet.

"Impressive Sakura," Sasuke-kun remarked. I blinked in shock. Sasuke-kun NEVER complimented me.

_Oh yeah! A compliment from Sasuke-kun! Even though he's a girl now it still feels good! TAKE THAT INO-PIG!_

"T-thank you Sasuke-kun," I stammered, sounding a little like Hinata. Soon enough, Naruto had crawled to where we were.

"Ow, Sakura-chan, what was that for?" he moaned.

"Well if you stop being a sexist pig then I won't have to hit you, now do I?" I growled, scolding him. He let out another moan and got up, obviously in pain. Did I really hit him that hard?

"Come on Dobe; let's get this thing done with," Sasuke said, pushing him through the door.

"DON'T PUSH ME TEME!"

_When are those two ever going to stop?_

* * *

Coming back to the Academy was a huge sense of déjà vu. As I was walking through the halls, I could see my younger self running in and out of the classrooms, studying or crying. Unfortunately, it was mostly crying. Damn, I got to stop being such a cry-baby.

_You said it!_

"So where is this exam?" Naruto asked.

"On the third floor, room two," Sasuke-kun replied back flatly.

"So what are we waiting for? Let's go!" Naruto exclaimed, racing up the stairs. A smile came across my face as I watched him run up with excitement. Despite the fact that he's really annoying, he has this attitude that just makes me smile. You tell him though, I'll kill you.

"Come on, let's go before he makes himself more of an idiot," Sasuke-kun sighed running up the stairs after him. I followed her up to the next floor in which we saw the said idiot arguing with two Genin who were guarding the door.

"But this is room 302! You gotta let me in!" Naruto exclaimed which earned him a shove by the Guy with the Bandages.

"Not unless you beat me. But that's never going to happen punk," he said.

"Only qualified Genin are allowed passed here," the Partner said.

"But I am qualified!" Naruto insisted. Oh please, is he that much of an idiot?

_We're only on the second floor you moron!_

I glanced over to Sasuke-kun and saw that her eyebrow was twitching and a vein was protruding. She was really pissed off. She walked up to Naruto and hit him hard on the head. He crumpled to the floor but Sasuke-kun pulled him to her eye level.

"You're truly an idiot Naruto. Next time you try to get in somewhere, check if it's a genjutsu!" she growled.

"Wow, I didn't know that you have a girlfriend," the Guy with Bandages smirked. That caused an explosion that no one expected. Both Naruto and Sasuke-kun to yell something like this:

"She's/He's not my girlfriend/boyfriend you bastard!"

They then proceeded to punch the living shit out of the two Genin that were guarding the door. Next, they drew on the faces of the two with the help of a permanent marker that Naruto produced from his scroll bag. They admired their handy work before heading over to where I was.

"Remind me never to make that comment," I said weakly.

_OH YEAH!!!! That was AWESOME!_

"That was so youthful!"

We turned around to see the strangest display…ever. It was another Genin team but they were lead by a kid with a bowl cut hair cut, REALLY bushy eyebrows, and covered in green spandex. On his left was a Hyuga who I recognized to be Neji. Back in the Academy, there used to be fangirl wars on who was hotter, Neji or Sasuke. On the right was a girl with two buns on top of her head. I think her name is Tenten.

"Yosh! That was the most youthful display of protecting one's honor since I got here! The only thing that rival's the youthfulness is the beauty of your teammate! She is like a flower that blooms most spectacularly!" the Bushy Brows exclaimed.

_Weirdo!_

"Uh…," was my witty reply back.

"If you agree to one date, I swear that you will be adored more than anyone else in the Continent!" he exclaimed.

"Um…sorry but I'm not really interested in dating anyone at the moment," I said nervously.

"I will respect your wishes but please give me the youthful delight of your name!" he insisted.

_What a creeper!_

"Sakura. My name is Haruno Sakura," I told him. Before Bushy Brows said anything else, his teammate stopped him.

"I'm sorry about Lee, he just is very excited," Tenten apologized.

"And so is this idiot," Sasuke-kun remarked, motioning to Naruto.

"What does that mean teme?!" Naruto demanded.

"It means that you're destined to be a failure," Neji said, reminding me what I hated about him. He had this thing with fatalism.

"I'm no failure! I'm going to be the Hokage!" Naruto exclaimed.

"There is no way someone like you are going to become the Hokage. Someone has to be destined for it. And you simply aren't," Neji remarked. Naruto looked like he was about to explode and so was I.

_Asshole!!!!!! Bastard, anyone can change their destiny! What kind of shit is that?!_

"Why you-," Naruto started but was held back by Sasuke-kun's hand.

"Control your temper. We don't need a fight right now," she told him.

"Uchiha Sasuke! I have heard that you are a great fighter! Please fight me!" Lee exclaimed.

"What did I just say?" she said sounding exasperated.

"I'm surprised. An Uchiha's pride usually prevents them from rejecting a challenge. Is it that you know that you're destined to fail?" Neji sneered. The tension built up between the two, representing a rivalry that the two clans have had since they met.

"Hyuga, just stick your nose into someone else's business. Now fuck off," she growled, stomping off to the real room. Naruto and I exchanged looks and soon followed. I think we just made a new enemy.

* * *

The real room 302 was actually filled with Genin with a killer intent that could kill us all.

That was the first impression that I had of this place. I saw the team that we met below us had already taken their seats causing a slight confusion on my part. How did they get here before us?

_This is going to get good!_

"The killer intent…I don't like this," Sasuke-kun muttered.

"Stop being such a girl Sasuke! This is nothing!" Naruto exclaimed. That got him two whacks on the head.

"I'm a girl you dumbass!"

"If you say shit like that, people are going to notice us!"

"So the rumors are true, Uchiha Sasuke is a girl."

We turned around to see Team 8 behind us which if you didn't know is composed of Inuzuka Kiba, Hyuga Hinata, and Aburame Shino. Kiba is a doggy version of Naruto and has a crush on Hinata. Not that she notices because she has a crush on Naruto that everyone knows except for Naruto himself. And Shino…Shino is just weird.

"Kiba, what the hell are you doing here?" Naruto demanded.

"We're here for the Exams, the same as you," Kiba bragged.

"OH NO!! SASUKE-KUN!!!" came a loud voice in which everyone winced. Ino-Pig was shedding crocodile tears about the truth. She's a part of Team 10 which includes Nara Shikamaru and Akimichi Choji, a continuation of the Ino-Shika-Cho trio.

"Ino, stop being so troublesome," Shikamaru remarked, being the lazy guy that we all knew.

_How in God's name is that kid a genius?!_

"But Sasuke-kun is a girl! Please, Sasuke-kun, tell me how Forehead changed your gender so I can give her a beating for you," she pleaded.

"What was that Ino-Pig?!" I demanded.

"I just told Sasuke-kun that I would beat you up Forehead," she growled. We made eye-contact and the sparks flew.

_YOU PIG!!! I DIDN'T CHANGE SASUKE-KUN INTO A GIRL, YOU BITCH!_

Before we got to each throat's, a small cough came behind us Rookie 9 and everyone turned to see a girl with bright red hair and glasses with a determined look on her face.

"I'm sorry but I would suggest that you guys would shut your mouths. Everyone here has marked you on their death list," she said.

"Why?" Choji asked.

"Because you are new. And the blondes and the pinkie are causing way too much noise," she stated. Before Ino-Pig, Naruto, or I could do her in, someone spoke up.

"Thanks for the tip. What's your name?" Sasuke-kun asked. The girl suddenly became flirtatious and started to hug Sasuke-kun's arm.

"My name is Karin. Has anyone told you that you're beautiful? Maybe after this whole thing is over, you can come to Kusa and I could show you around. What do you say about that?" she purred. I felt my face heat up from anger at the awkward position that Sasuke-kun was in and the fact that Kiba was getting a nosebleed. Pervert.

_GET YOUR HANDS OFF SASUKE-KUN! EVEN THOUGH I DON'T LIKE HER LIKE THAT, YOU STILL GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF OF HER!!!!!!!_

"No. Now get off," Sasuke-kun hissed.

"Oh come on. Can you please just give me a name?" Karin asked with the pout that both Ino-Pig and I recognized. It was the same look we used in trying to get a date but it never works.

"Didn't you hear her? Fuck off," Naruto growled, surprising everyone except for Karin.

"Oh, Raven-chan has got a boyfriend," Karin sighed and I watched the explosion that happened below happen again.

"WE"RE NOT DATING!!!!"

They were about to maul the Kusa kunoichi when a voice behind us called the room into attention.

"All you maggots get to a seat. I'm Morino Ibiki and I'm going to be the protractor for the first part of the Chuunin Exams."

* * *

After a really long speech about what was going to happen on the test and being handed the test, it began. The questions were fairly simple; I wasn't the smartest kunoichi in the Academy for nothing! As I sat back (while making sure that no one could copy me), I saw the other Genin cheating in one way or another. Sasuke-kun was using her Sharingan, which has evolved into both sides having two commas (whatever they are), to get the answers while Ino-Pig was using her family jutsu to get answers. I also noticed that Naruto wasn't doing anything.

_That idiot! He doesn't understand the point of the test!_

Maybe…but I'm going to pull a Shikamaru. I have a feeling that I'm going to need it…

* * *

_Next Time: Part 2 of the Exams! (R and R)_


	5. The Hell Hole

_Hi everyone! Holy crap, I haven't updated in a while…I made that warning on my profile but I apologize for keeping you the fans for waiting. Thank you, Kratos181 and Nailuj for reviewing and bringing up a good point. Are Naruto and Sasuke going to have a romance? Well…I think this chapter answers that. So enjoy!_

**Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, I wouldn't be here making a disclaimer! All references belong to their respective owners as well. The plot, however, belongs to me. **

Musical Inspiration for this Chapter: "Break" by Three Days Grace and "Before I Forget" by Slipknot.

* * *

Chapter 5- The Hell Hole

Sasuke

It's the end of the first part of the Chuunin Exams. Naruto had just made this big speech about being a good shinobi isn't about passing tests blah blah blah and Sakura was awakened by Mitarashi Anko, our crazy protractor for the second part of the Chuunin Exam. It wasn't pretty. It involved snakes, poisonous ones at that. After getting passed all the craziness, Anko took us to a place I like to call the Hell Hole. It's official name in Training Area 44.

Most others call it the Forest of Death.

"Ah man, are they crazy? The Forest of the Death completely sucks," Naruto grumbled.

"How did you get into the Forest of Death, Naruto?" Sakura asked causing curiosity for me as well. You need special permission from the Hokage to train there. If you're wondering why, think about the name "Forest of Death."

"Uh…it was an accident. It was a couple of years ago and I was playing Hide-and-Seek. I got lost," he explained quickly. I snorted. Only the Dobe would do something like that. Suddenly, a kunai was launched at us to our shock and grazed Naruto's cheek.

"Blondie! Shut the fuck up or else the stomach of a snake is going to be your final resting place! Or, I will personally drink your extremely delicious blood out of your body to the last drop!" Anko yelled, creeping out the general populace of Genin. Naruto looked like he was about to shit his pants. The crazy woman is now a vampire.

"Now your goal is to obtain either a Heaven or an Earth scroll and deliver it to the tower in the middle of the forest. You will not be allowed in if you open any of the scrolls or are missing team members. You have 5 days and yes you have to find your own damn food Fatty! Now, once you sign the waivers, you'll be allowed in through a check point. I would say good luck but most of you are probably going to die anyway," she announced. The crowd quickly dispersed to the Chuunin who were handing out scrolls and the waivers.

"So who's going to hold the scroll?" Sakura whispered.

"Me, that's who!" Naruto answered, being surprisingly quiet for someone who's so obnoxiously loud.

"I don't think so. You'll lose it you moron," I said, disagreeing.

"Then who's going to carry it teme? You?" he snarled.

"Guys! This isn't going to help. Why don't we take turns? It would keep the enemy guessing and everyone would be happy," Sakura negotiated. Wow, she's actually becoming a shinobi. Now she won't be so annoying.

"Fine."

"Fine."

We finally got to a table in which we signed those stupid forms and got an Earth scroll. We were directed to a gate in which a thought came into my head.

"We have to have a code to let each other know that the other is real," I stated.

"Really? How about we use the code Ramen? Or believe it!" Naruto suggested. How stupid is that?

"No, that's way too stupid!" I said.

"But if we used something that made sense, the other teams could disguise themselves as us," Sakura argued. Damn her logic!

"…Fine. Everyone chose a word," I muttered.

"Ramen."

"Hana."

"Mangekyo."

"That's our code: Ramen Hana Mangekyo. Now let's move."

* * *

Once we were inside, we started to look for other teams that would have said earth scroll. Truth be told, nothing happened until about 5 hours in Naruto had to take a piss.

"Ew Naruto! Why do you always have to be so vulgar?" Sakura exclaimed. I even had to admit that it was a bad choice of words.

"Uh…sorry Sakura-chan! I'll be back!" he exclaimed before stumbling off. I snorted. What an idiot! How many times I'm going to say that?

Eventually Naruto came bumbling back in which I noticed that his kunai holder was on his left instead of his right.

"Naruto, what's the password?" I asked.

"Are you serious?" the fake Dobe asked.

"Come on Naruto! We all agreed to it!" Sakura encouraged.

"Mangekyo."

Sakura and I exchanged a look. I took out a kunai and threw it at him in which he caught.

"What the hell?" the fake exclaimed.

"You're not Naruto. First off, he's right-handed. Second off, he would say 'Ramen' instead of Mangekyo. And third off, he would say fuck instead of hell," I said simply. The fake smirked and in a puff of smoke, an Ame shinobi appeared.

"I thought I had you there but you morons have some amount of intelligence," the Ame said. Sakura began to seethe.

"We're the idiots? You were so stupid that you didn't get the whole code or understand the person you were impersonating!" she growled, cracking her knuckles.

"We'll just see about that. If you give me your scroll, you can walk away with your lives," he threatened.

"And what if we say no?" I asked.

"You'll die."

And it was out there, plain and simple. But before anyone could make a move, a flash of orange caught my peripheral and the Ame had been tackled by many Shadow Clones which came from our number one knucklehead, Naruto. Because he was caught completely unaware, the Ame was tied to a tree and Naruto was growling at him.

"Next time, choose someone else who doesn't know how to use Kagebushin," he said.

"Nice work Naruto!" Sakura squealed. Oh shit, now she's a Naruto fangirl!

"I'm somewhat impressed. What's the password?" I asked.

"Ramen Hana Mangekyo," he said unhesitant.

"You all are truly idiots. You just said your password in front of me which I related back to my teammates," the Ame laughed.

"Do you really think that our code?" Sakura asked with a hint of venom in her voice. News flash! Do you really think that Ramen Hana Mangekyo is our code? Who do you think we are? Naruto?

"Even if that is the case, you still are standing on top of a branch half rotted and about to fall off any moment," the Ame cackled. And once he said that, there was an ominous crack and a collective cry of, "SHIT!" We, except the Ame, shot up to another branch and avoided catastrophe. That is until I realized that the bastard Ame had tied my feet to the branch and thus I started to fall. I took out a kunai and quickly cut the line. I jumped up to crash into Naruto, which came to me as a shock.

"Naruto, what the hell are you doing?" I yelled.

"Trying to help! Now grab my hand!" he yelled back. Given the fact that I had no choice, I took his hand and the two of us were back on a branch.

"Moron! I was already heading back up!" I scolded.

"Yeah Naruto, what the hell was that for?" Sakura agreed. Is this girl bipolar or what?

"I don't know. The teme fell and my body moved before I could do anything," he said causing some rather embarrassing memories to come into my mind's eye.

"Next time don't do unless someone is going to get killed," I growled. Naruto smirked.

"Why don't you take your own advice?" he asked.

"ANYWAY, we lost the Ame shinobi. We gotta keep going if we're going to pass this test," Sakura butted in. The argument was over before it even started and thus, we went back into this hellhole jungle in hopes of finding an Earth scroll.

* * *

After hours of searching, we FINALLY found ourselves another Genin team. These were from Ame as well and called themselves Team Shigure. Our "friend" wasn't among them.

"Damn! Why is it taking so long to get the fucking Heaven scroll?" Sakura hissed surprising both Naruto and I with her foul language. The ironic thing was that she was wearing a purity ring that the fangirls wore back in the Academy. Why is she wearing that thing?

"Quiet, Sakura-chan! If we do this right, we can be the first ones to the Tower!" Naruto scolded quietly. Am I hearing things? Is Naruto actually being…smart?

"Shut up you two. Now everyone knows the plan?" I silently asked. They responded with silent nods.

"Let's go."

The three of us separated and went in our positions to perform an ambush. I quietly crept to my target and was about to attack when something extremely unexpected happened.

Out of nowhere sand wrapped around the Genin and crushed him without a single thought. He was dead before he got a chance to scream. To my inner horror, the blood from said shinobi was splattered across my face and I spot the Psycho team from Suna. Kankuro and Temari were letting Gaara do all the work of massacring the other team. I'll spare you the gory details but I'll tell you that it was horrifying.

"Mother wants more," Gaara said after the whole thing was said and done.

"Are you sure Gaara? We have the scrolls required to go to the Tower," Temari asked.

"I don't care about that. Mother wants blood. I'm going to get it," Gaara growled causing his teammates to cower in fear. The killer intent off this guy is terrifying! And so, as they went off, I heard the retching noise of someone throwing up and thought how lucky I was to just be alive.

But that's when the real trouble started.

A Kusa shinobi…or kunoichi that wasn't Karin came towards the battle field, not even batting an eye at the blood and gore. He…uh, she…um, it surveyed the damage before it started to chuckle.

"Ku ku ku ku, I'm shocked that the Jinchuriki of Suna failed to notice you three. But that's what I expect from my Sasuke-chan," it purred.

"SHE ISN'T ANYONE'S YOU BASTARD!"

And thus comes out Naruto's stupidity as he jumped from his hiding place with kunai blazing to try to kill the Kusa. Note the word try. It just tossed him aside like he was a bug who landed right into Sakura which caused her to fall out of her hiding place.

"What a babbling bunch of morons. Especially Naruto, who seems completely devoted to you Sasuke-chan," Kusa remarked.

"WHAT? I'M NOT DEVOTED WHATEVER THE HELL THAT MEANS!" Naruto yelled.

"Devoted means loving and committed you baka!" Sakura hissed, pushing Naruto off of her. But before the Dobe could say anything about that, Kusa made a move…well, sort of. The killing intent that we felt from Gaara; nothing compared to this. With a single look, the three of us were rooted in our places.

"Give me your scroll and Uchiha Sasuke or else," it said a matter-of-factly, doing that freaky tongue thing with a kunai reminding me a bit of that crazy protractor of ours, Anko. My brain had dully registered this fact. I was too scared to pay attention to anything.

Shit, why can't I move? This is so fucking pathetic! I'm an Uchiha and Uchiha don't get scared. My vision was blurring from my fear but I could see certain moments of the world around me. Sakura was gaping like a fish. Kusa and the Dobe were brawling it out. For some strange reason, the fight between the Demon Brothers and us came into my head. This was just like that except _**I**_ was the Dobe.

More the reason to get out of this.

I started to grab for a kunai and it was probably one of the most painful things I've ever did. Why? My body was fighting my mind and for a brief second of pain-induced insanity, I wondered what would happen if I wasn't a shinobi. The answer didn't come back to me but a revelation did in the form of a snake about the size of the Uchiha Compound came charging at us with the Kusa right on top of it. And the thing is that the Kusa looked like the Hebi Sannin, Orochimaru.

SHIT!

But then, before the Snake could come in and eat us all, an orange blur stepped in front of me and rammed its fist into the head. Of course, to my amazement, it was Naruto but slightly different. He was more savage looking and his voice was a growl. Not to mention that more speckles of blood went flying into the air.

"Don't tell me that you're chicken, _teme_," he growled to me. With that line, the killer intent was non-existent to me. Why? He just spat back what I said to him during our fight against the Demon Brothers. That seemed like a lifetime ago but there was no way in hell that I was going back out of this.

There was no fucking way that I would let Naruto get all the credit and become better than me.

I blinked and everything became crystal clear due to the Sharingan and the lack of fear. And I was right in saying that Orochimaru was the Kusa and beat back the instinct to flee.

"If I was chicken, then what does that make you? An idiotic coward?" I asked.

"It seems that our little Sasuke-chan has joined the party. You would be perfect for what I need, ku ku ku ku," Orochimaru cackled.

"PERVTED PEDOPHILE!"

I couldn't tell who said it, Naruto or I. But either way, this Hebi-Bastard is going down. My hands started to form the jutsu that was always associated with my family: Fire Style: Great Fire Ball.

The fight for my body has just begun.

God, that sounds so perverted.

* * *

_Will Naruto and Sasuke defeat the legendary Snake Sannin? Where is Sakura? Will the author stick with the cannon? Next time on Saigo no Uchiteiruzuobu: Of Nightmares!_


	6. ANNOUNCEMENT

ATTENTION READERS OF SAIGO!

It's been 4 months since I started to write this story. While I love this idea in general, my muse for it has disappeared. It's gone! No matter what I do, I can't write the next chapter decently enough. So with much regret, I have decided to put the story up for adoption. That's right readers: ADOPTION.

So that leaves us with contest. The prize is the story line of Saigo. The rules of the contest is simple:

1. You must write a one-shot demonstrating your abilities as a writer. I want to make sure that Saigo doesn't become a poorly written fic. No offense.

2. The one-shot has to be a Naruto/Female!Sasuke story. It can be angst, humor, parody, etc. You can do whatever you want but make sure that those two (Naruto and the female! Sasuke) are there.

3. The deadline is September 8, 2010.

4. PLEASE PM ME SAYING YOU'RE IN THIS CONTEST. I really don't want anyone to miss the deadline or something along those lines because they forgot to send the link.

So, good luck! The winner will be announced sometime after September 8th.

Enjoy!

Blue Phoenix Flower


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